Homos are gay

I'm 40, I'm fucking sick of all the judgemental sexist and homophobic crap
I hear and read and see around on a daily basis.

It's not likely that I could ever change the world. However, one more person actually speaking openly about whatever it may be can at least share a bit of humanity. Right?

I've been asked to sing at the HBT-galaparty on may 12th and I'm looking forward to it. Me, big, hairy, bearded, as remote from the effeminate "Queer"-theory world gets, at least at a quick glance.

Why the hell I have been asked to participate?

Probably because I care. Because I have an opinion and I know it matters. I'm sure someone's going to have questions, "Are you a fag? Singing for gays?"

Grind jesters Anal Cunt had it right the first time; "Everything is gay!"

I am me. And that's where I think it all starts. Personally I have come to understand that the person I percieve myself as, inside and as a being, is really none of your fucking business, I have MY sexuality.

It's not a part of some square little box, or identikit-reality. I am human. End of story. If I like doing handstands with midgets painted green lowering MILF Shemales with a giant crane into my lubed ass, singing Liza Minelli-tunes in italian; In the end, it's nobodys business but mine, the midgets and the Shemale MILF involved.

Personally I feel it is a human right to get such a strong sense of identity that we simply refuse to lock ourselves into the gender-based clusterfuck Queer-theorists call hetero-normativity.

Sex should be a celebration of mutual appreciation and respect. If that means pissing in echothers mouths, shoving locomotive size dildos into every orifice on the human body or simply holding eachother in a close embrace, as it's an act between consenting adults I say; Go!

Seriously; The entire concept of Sexual identity has got to move on.

The frontlines of sexual liberation in 2010, has moved on from Stonewall or crossdressers hangin out at Max's in NY in the early 70's.

Still dysfunctional behavioural patterns, fear, ignorance, religion with moral rules that grasp
onto the last straws of fundamentalist traditions and over the last 15 years I've watched the gay-movement do very little than dig itself deeper into the same trenches it was holding back in 1974.

I mean for fucks sake people! Same-gender marriage says very little about human rights if the people who get married have mutilated themselves emotionally to function in society as a whole.

Personally I think punk rock and hardcore-bands have done more for the acceptance of humanism over this time than any stereotype limpwrist fabulous hairdresser/stylist in the world.

I work in an extremely homophobic enviroment, yet some of it's greatest icons, people like
Rob Halford of Judas Priest, Dave Vincent of Mordbid Angel, Dave Dictor of MillionsofDeadCops Jello Biafra of Dead Kennedys or Freddie Mercury of giants Queen are and were all men who like having sex with other men. They never really made a big deal out of it. Everyone else seemed to think it meant the world.

Personally I'm sickened by how dumb, false, bigotted and utterly selfdestructive "Male" identity in general really is.

We are a bunch of monkeys rushing through space on a rock, at a velocity so magnificent that it's simply miraculous that we can even remain on it. And what do we do?

We choose to live our lives like actors in spectacles from different, way more idiotic times. Pretending so hard that we eventually believe ourselves.

I ask myself; What am I, really?

Am I truly as simple-minded as my image of Manliness implies?
Am I really as violently competitive? Ridiculously territorial?
Am I incapable of emotionally connecting to my children or even myself?

Am I a lousy cook, incapable of cleaning my own clothes, my own house?
Is my basic responses to threat, fear, uncertainty and outrage really true, or just superficial reaction?
Am I truly as fearful as what I find when I begin looking?

Not really.

What I see when I travel around the world are Human Beings Human.

And at the same time we act our ridiculous little parts, preset identigames to keep social interactions "safe".

So what is it that matters in this need to manifest our sexuality in how we act? Where is the weakness in sharing your body with another human being? What is the basis for valuing the traits of physical appearance and appendages? And why is it so provocative to some people that other people do things differentlty than the next guy(or girl)?

I don't get it. I don't.

Even knowing all the psychological explanations. It's just retarded.

I grew up reading crappy stuff like Biggles or Ten Bullets For Colby, but pretty quickly moved on to Norman Mailer, Ernest Hemingway and the Hornblower-books. Hardboiled dramatic stories of heroic, strong, lonely, stoic men who gave up everything for a higher cause. Sacrificing themselves on the glorious altar of MEN MEN MANLY MEN. But I never could get my head around how it seemed OK to live like a fucking tool, an animal with a gun; Yet not OK to dress like Tom Of Finlands Super-cops, with cocks the size of thighs and drink someone elses urine for fun. It's really not that different.

When it comes down to it, the whole Men-At-War, Brothers In Arms-thing is pretty fucking homoerotic if one looks at it with a critical eye, it lacks the obvious sexscenes, but still.

In Susan Faludi's 1999 book Stiffed there are some very illuminating stories of just how screwed
up being a man from an american point of view seems to be. Living in Sweden very different from living in the US, but these differences are not that big.

Does anyone remember the artist N.E.R.D, had this hit-song a couple of years ago go called "Provider", every time I heard that song I would cringe and my mind went; "What fucking bullshit."

Provider of what? The male identity displayed by hiphop artists in general is hardly a radically evolved such. The nineties and first ten years of the new millenium surely hasn't seen a great deal of evolution on the genderpolitical front. It's the stoneage male self-sacrifical illusion again.

Artists like Lady Blah Blah and Pink are about as revolutionary and provocative as hmmm, Cher. In other words, not at all. We are seeing no change, just continued hypermanifestations of the same old chauvinist bullshit as ever. Homosexual people are supposedly included in this bullshit game, but apparently only if they strip their own individuality down and turn themselves into "Fags". Ridiculous, toothless, simplified fools that won't stand as a threat to anything. Is it just me, or does this seem like a general tendency?

And even with the so called butches. Sexism/Chauvinism all the same. Are we really that shallow?

I kissed a guy when I was 16, and it was great. It turned into nothing, though I honestly think
that if ever there would have been moment in time it would have made sense to get down and dirty, that was definitely one. We spotted each other across the mud, it was summer, one of my first rockfestivals, we were drunk, happy, the sun was setting, one of our favorite bands were playing, we had both had an amazing weekend and we were the best of friends.

We were both kind of shocked by it, and brushed it away. One of us said "What are we doing?" and it turned into nothing. But it was a strong realization that "Wow, apparently not everything is cut in black and white..."

To Be Continued...

Peter

More to come...

I like this. In a sick kind of way.

It's been one hell of a ride watching myspace go from a seriously curious and possibly hopeful platform for communication to a cluttered subreality as seedy as any redlight district in the world. All these people trying to do the hustle selling themselves, someone else or something, anything. It went from personal to moronic in only a couple of years. Amazing.

I am curious to where it goes from here. Nowhere good obviously. Or maybe I'm wrong, maybe it's becoming the slum of the web. Internet favelas? Any takers?

Personally I haven't had the time or energy to maintain my activity there when I'm not on tour, life is to eventful and engaging and it kinda leaves me wondering; If the only time I can really invest any serious time is when I have nothing but time on my hands, what kind of life are all these other people on myspace and sites like it doing with their lives?

We've been toying with calling the next The Haunted album WhatEverMan, as that seems to be the definite idiom of the times.

Whatever man!

"War here, war there? Whateverman..."

Indifference is most definitely a sign of hopeless submission, and if there was ever a time as clearly indifferent as now I am hard to find it. We have access to greater amounts of knowledge, more information and faster ways of communication and all it seems to do is paralyze us.

Instead vest our lives to ever greater stretches of extravagant superficial behaviour and attitudes. Even the traditional channels of coreless dung, like MTV etc. are lost in this game.

Who gives a shit anyway? Fashion and trends are mere composites of the neverending onslaught of information. Sure, the Hannah Montanas, Bratz and Ben 10 fervors will still occoúr, as luminescent as ever before, but if these strikes of luck for individual creators were fickle before, they are mere sparks today.

The modern consumer?

"Yeah whateverman"

It's funny to watch how teenage style is becoming bland and unimaginative as a result of their utter nihilism. Why even bother, right? Nothing is right.

Everyone gives a conflicting piece of information and how is some puberty stricken teen going to be able to decode something with no actual core message at all? Certainly there are those who do. But they are the fringe kids. They don't even watch TV. They couldn't give a shit about who can afford an iPhone or who twitters. They are the downfall of the middleclass. The uneducated, the low wage bearers of society. The ones who'd rather go to a HCshow in their own hood than hit the city and the check out the generic rockstars who are in town. And there has never in history been as many of them as there is today.

White middle class America and Europe is capzising. Don't believe me? Think the "depression" is over? Hardly my friend. It's just begun. The New Dawn of True Corporatism has just begun. The Obama administration and the corporate turnover of the EU has turned democracy on its head. We are ultimatly living in the first real oligarchic dictatorship since Roman times. How we react?

With indifference, confusion and apathy. Of course.

Everything is going according to plan. The people who call the shots are not stupid. Not even evil. They just want to be right. It's a human desire. The ego compels us to try to be right. And when reality collides with what we believe and what we desire our own brains try to get us the hell out the situation we find ourselves in. Indifference is one symptom. Hyper consumption is another.

It's perfect for anyone with a few bucks to invest and a Machiavellian mindset. All one needs now is control over everything. Since the only way to really make a profit when everything goes, is to control it. Simple as that.

Wonder if that's even possible?

Of course it is. Look around, who owns what? Who controls world around you? Obviously it's not politicans or populist movements. The entire western world is now in the finalizing stages of total corporate control. It's gonna be fine new era. I look forward to watching it fully bloom, it is going to make anything we've seen before in history pale in comparison. Awe. That's what I feel.

Me?

I'll run like a mutherfucker and stay the hell away from urban culture and "city"-folk as much as I possibly can. Honestly, people scare the living Buh-jeezus out of me.

Peace / Pete